The Loiterer

Dear disgruntled loiterer,

I'm so very sorry that I was not able to permit your entrance into the bar, but it appears you either look like you are 12 or are dressed like the cast of Jersey Shore threw up on you. For some odd reason that will forever be a mystery to me, you have chosen to remain  awkwardly standing outside the gate for well over half an hour now. I applaud your tenacity, but you are still not getting in, no matter how hard you stare at me, because frankly you pissed me off when you walked across the street. What are you thinking? "Fuck it, I'll give up my entire night out on the town just to annoy this door guy. Yeah, I'll show him!" There are dozens of other bars, yet you have your mind set on being your assholish, friendless self right outside this one. Come to think of it... Do you have friends? Are you downtown alone? Did they leave you here to freeze while they went inside? Oh yeah, I forgot, you annoy the living shit out of anyone you come in contact with, so it's probably all of the above. Have fun sharing your plot of land with the usual hobos. Your plan has no logic. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
The Angry Door Guy